Luna, Sam and the Van Diagram
by Kingofreaks
Summary: Its been two weeks since the events of L is for Love and Luna doesn't know how to move forward. Luckily for Luna her little sister Lisa is ready to help with the aid of her trusty friend science! This is my first story I've committed to page in a while and first Loud House fic would love feedback thanks.


Luna sat at a table shaded by an old oak at the far side of the school yard. It had been two weeks since she had left the anonymous letter in Sam's locker and she had yet to take any further action. From her position she could see Sam with her friends but the tree provided just enough cover to block Luna from their view. She drummed absent mindedly oh the table trying to think of any possible way to move forward. Her musical idols weren't much help as there relationships had a habit of ending badly Sid and Nancy, Curt and Kourtney and of course Mick and Keith. A shy smile crept onto her face as she saw Sam burst out laughing, she had the most adorable laugh it followed by a pang of jealousy wishing she were the one making Sam laugh.

"Lunes" she said to herself "you'll never be able to ask her out if you don't raise yourself from this funk." She nearly jumped out of her skin as a second voice replied to her. "I concur with your evaluation older sibling." Her head snapped to where she was surprised to find her younger sister Lisa had joined her as if manifesting from the void. "Lisa what are you doing here chanelling Lucy shouldn't you be at your own school?" Lisa adjusting her glasses nodded, "There was a professor whose theories I take umbrage with giving a guest lesson to a senior science class today so I got special permission to attend and school him as it were." A malicious grin spread across Lisa's face as she spoke. "However returning to my previous comment I surmise that the blonde with the turquoise streak you've been observing so intently is the recent object of your affection?" Luna lay her face down on the table if it had been any of her other siblings she might deny it but there was no use trying to get anything past Lisa. She sighed and replied "yeah that's her, Sam, but she's way out of my league I don't stand a chance."

Lisa nodded in a not unsympathetic way; she opened her back pack pulling out a binder and her pencil case. "While human courtship may be outside my wheelhouse and I count myself lucky based on the anecdotal evidence I have read and observed in yourself and our older siblings that I have some time before I enter the hormonal nightmare that is puberty. I've always found the scientific method to be helpful in organizing thought and and plotting strategy."

Luna raised her face from the table to see what her brainy younger sister was doing "Sorry dude a lot of that went over my head I think." Lisa had taken a piece of paper from her binder and was using a compass to draw two intersecting circles. When she complete them she wrote Luna's name in one and Sam's in the other. When Lisa had finished to her own satisfaction she looked up "I assume you're familiar with the van diagram but for the sake of clarity it is a diagram used for comparing and contrasting two separate things in this case you and Sam. Luna nodded along thankful for the explanation, with possible exception of pyrotechnics which Chunk was enthusiastically tutoring her in science wasn't her strongest subject.

"Okay so what do you two have in common?"Lisa asked pencil at the ready. Luna smiled a bit relaxing. "Well we're both musicians, we share a lot of the same classes, we have a lot of the same friends." The list continued for some time, Lisa diligently creating a bullet point list that quickly expanded outside of the intersection between the two circles. Lisa cut Luna off "We've compiled enough data for that section, now what are your differences?" Luna stopped and furrowed her brow for a moment. "Well I guess I have more siblings then she does." Lisa nodded adding this to each circle." When Luna didn't continue on her own Lisa prompted her "continue." Luna shook her head "I don't know maybe she doesn't like me."

Lisa shook her head in disagreement "Of course she likes you you can be quite charismatic and are well respected in your social circle for your musical talent." Luna blushed looking down at the table "I know she likes me dude, I don't know if she like likes me or even if she would."

Lisa nodded understanding dawning upon her, set down her pencil "Yes as an intangible attraction is harder to determine through supposition, and the Van Diagram does tend to deal with facts." Luna began to lie her face back upon the table but was interrupted "however it is not the only tool in my proverbial science kit."

Luna watched as her sister flipped the piece of paper and retrieved her compass and began to draw again "The bell curve," indicating her competed work "Can be used to suppose normal and abhorrent behavior to predict the most likely probabilities."

She continued drawing two stars on the opposing sides of the curve then named one positive and the other negative. Indicating the two stars "Each end of the curve represents an extreme in this case how Sam might react to you asking her on a date." Luna nodded not quite seeing where Lisa was going. Indicating the negative star Lisa began again "let's imagine you ask her out and she reacts negatively the worst possible outcome is she metaphorically rips out your heart and shreds it into tiny pieces humiliating you to your peer group and causing deep and lasting emotional scars in your psyche leading you to drop out of school becoming involved heavy narcotic use and touring substandard venues playing grunge music for other disaffected individuals and eventually an early demise."

Luna stared at Lisa bug eyes her own worst case scenarios having been far less dramatic. "However as you find yourself infatuated with her it leads me to believe that she doesn't exhibit psychotic tendencies leading me to believe this out come is highly unlikely correct?" Luna just nodded.

"Then I suppose she won't make a good candidate for my research into abhorrent human psychology but I digress." She gestured to the second star, marked positive. "Now let's suppose you ask her out and she reacts in a positive extreme. She confesses she has her own deep feelings of attraction to you and she drops to her knee and proposes with a family ring you are wed leading to the formation of a super duo leading to acquisitions if wealth and fame, early retirements and assuming science hasn't progressed to the point of human female cross conception then you adopt two point there children and live in a state of familial bliss."

Again Luna eyes were visibly wide and she could only muster "dude, jeez." Lisa continued uninterrupted "However as you have yet to ascertain if she even likes you and as she has not made her own advances this is as equally unlikely as the first."

Lisa picked up her pencil again and drew two more stars equal distance from each other near the bottom of the curve. "With the two extremes eliminated it leaves us with the two more likely outcomes. One you ask her out and she's says no and if she was ever worthy of my sister's affection she lets you down easy and you remain friends yes there may be some friction but you'll get past it."

"On the other hand she may say yes you'll go on a date and discover whether the relationship has merit to go forward." Luna nodded then leaned down and hugged her little sister but her shoulders still sagged "Thanks Lisa I think I understood everything you said and it all makes sense but there's still the part where I have to ask her out and I don't know if can see from it."

Lisa shrugged "The only thing lacking from the equation is courage and you Luna are not a girl who lacks courage. I've seen you get up and rock dozens of crowds I believe in you but if you need something extra." Lisa reached into her lunch box and pulled out a ziplock bag full of cookies. "I made these myself and my research has found that very few people dislike cookies."

Luna laughed and took the bag of cookies. "Maybe you're right Lisa, you know I've always known you were the smartest person I know but sometimes I forget your also very wise." Luna took a few of the small cookies and popped them in her mouth then said "you also make great cookies." Looking over at Sam she sighed "well I guess there's no time like the present."

Luna tussled Lisa's hair and began the long walk to Sam's table. As she walked her thoughts began to swarm. What if Sam laughed and said no; no she fired back Sam wasn't like that Lisa was right. But was she brave enough; heck yes she was, she was Luna Loud she'd played in front of Mick Swaegger!." Upon finally reaching Sam's table Luna gathered her courage and said "Hey Sam can I talk to you alone for a minute?" Sam looked away from her friends and nodded "Sure no problem." She got up from the table and nodded to her friends that she'd see them later.

The two walked away from the table to a quieter part of the yard suddenly Luna's anxieties started to gang up on her, words were starting to abandon her. Sam look at her awkwardly "so was there something you wanted to tell me?" Luna shoved her hands in her pockets and then felt something in her pocket. She pulled out the bag of cookies. "Ugh yeah my sister made some cookies do you want some." Sam accepted the bag of cookies and took a few. Luna felt so lame cookies really? Sam ate the ones she'd taken "there good cookies but was that all you didn't want to share with the others?"

Lisa fumbled with the words in her head " I also wanted to s-say." Suddenly out of nowhere she felt a wave of calm was over her and the words started to follow like water. "I also wanted to tell you that since the first time I saw you play I've thought you were the coolest cutest girl I've ever known and that I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date." Sam stared at her for as moment before popping another cookie. Luna suddenly realized what she'd just said and slapped her hand across hey mouth then said "oh jeez I have no idea why I just said that I mean it's all true but I didn't mean to come off like such a twit."

Sam kept chewing the cookies and Luna had no idea what she was thinking she grimaced and looked down "Forget I said anything your obvs way out of my league and I'd rather just be friends, that's not true but it's better then not being friends at all." Luna started to turn and leave cursing herself internally when she felt Sam reach out and grab her by the wrist.

Luna looked back and Sam smiled. "Luna I think you're awesome and out of my league as well but." Luna's heart started to swell then cringed on the last word. Sam squeezed her arm harder and then said "it's just someone left a note in my locker and" Luna started to feel herself blushing even "Oh I left that,it was dumb all my siblings decided to send ourcrushes letters and I was too scared to sign mine."

Sam smiled "Are you kidding I loved the way you wrote it with song lyrics, Mick Swaegger isn't my favourite but . . ." Sam let go of Lunas wrist and it was her turn to cover her own mouth "I'm so sorry I don't know why I said that I know you love him and I love that about you but sometimes I think he's overrated please don't hate me."

Sam continued to babble " I mean I don't really like cookies either but I like that you gave them me, jeez why can't I stop talking. The traumatic Mick revelation aside the wheels in Luna's brain started cranking she looked over to where Lisa was sitting and even at a distance she could tell that there was innocent smile plastered on her sisters face was anything but, and a suspicous twinkle in her eye.

Luna smacked the cookies out of Sam's hand then stomped them into the ground. "I'm so dumb I should have known Lisa would have put something in the cookies I'm such a Luan to fall for it." Sam looked at Luna confused "What's going on." Luna shook her head "My sister Lisa is a child genius and she's always experimenting on us, she must have put something in the cookies so I wouldn't chicken out, I'm so getting her back."

Luna waved to Lisa and Sam looked over as well then asked "Can I help we could call it a date?" Luna nodded smiling deviously "it's so on."

Suddenly the lunch bell rang Sam looked at Luna and offered her hand. Luna smiled taking it as they headed back to class and quickly Luna said "the effects will probably wear off soon but probably best we not say anything until then."

Sam pulled an imaginary zipper closed across her lips with her other hand and then they left for class hand in hand.

Back at the lunch table Lisa set down a pair of mini-binoculars and pulled a notebook out of her back pack. It was entitled subject Luna Loud. She opened it to the first available blank page and began to write. Courage is fleeting but amobarbital in the correct unsustained dose seems to compensate nicely.


End file.
